An Amazing Journey

Truth and more truth in this book

Our faith is strengthened when we read or hear a dynamic testimony. By reading this autobiography, you learn that my colleague, Garry Ingraham, is a walking miracle!

Am I Gay? Coming Out of Cultural Christianity and LGBTQ+ Identity into Authentic Faith in Jesus is an amazing story of God’s intervention and transformation. Garry grew up in a Christian home and attended church regularly. But early rejection at home combined with sexual abuse from older boys had created a void within, manifesting with an attraction to the same sex.

He knew that acting on his urges would be sinful, but he had no where to turn to talk about his inner turmoil. For a season, he lived a double life. Attending church regularly, dating a Christian girl, and truly seeking God’s help with his desires. But once he’d heard there was a downtown bar for gay men, he could not stop thinking about it. Though he’d never entered a bar before, he searched the small city until he finally found it.

With a heart hungry for love and acceptance, he finally wandered in. Immediately he felt he belonged. The experience of being with others like him was so intoxicating, he could not stay away.

Three different times, he entered a Bible college to soak his mind and heart in scripture, worship, and fellowship. But even there, he lived in constant fear of his desires being exposed. Finally, the one time he had the courage to open up with a fellow student, he was seduced, betrayed, and rejected.

Bouncing back and forth between the faith and the gay culture, he finally abandoned himself to the people with whom he felt understood. Garry holds nothing back as he reveals his deep dive into the gay culture, recounting stories of being a bartender at gay bars and the highs and lows of his encounters.

Longing for something more permanent. he entered a longterm relationship which he thought would be permanent. Quite ironically, he took his partner to a Christian concert to hear Dallas Holm. To his surprise, his partner was wonderfully saved. Thus began an awkward and painful season where they tried to remain celibate while still living together. They eventually went separate ways.

Garry’s account is threaded with wisdom. In the early section regarding his childhood, he reflects upon the various influences and events which significantly contributed to his same-sex attraction.

In his book Homosexuality and the Christian, Mark Yarhouse states that in the 1980’s and 90’s our culture was torn apart by “nothing-butisms”. Progressives stated that same-sex attraction was nothing but nature—people were born that way. Those shouting out from the right proclaimed it was nothing but nurture—experiences one has early in life or how one was raised. And yet for many years, the American Psychological Association has had the following statement on their website regarding causes of homosexual orientation:

There is no consensus among scientists about the exact reasons that an individual develops a heterosexual, bisexual, gay, or lesbian orientation. Although much research has examined the possible genetic, hormonal, developmental, social, and cultural influences on sexual orientation, no findings have emerged that permit scientists to conclude that sexual orientation is determined by any particular factor or factors. Many think that nature and nurture both play complex roles; most people experience little or no sense of choice about their sexual orientation. (Italics mine.)

Garry’s story reflects this APA statement as he describes the complex combination of factors in his own life. As he narrates his life, he explains carefully how his birth, upbringing, early abuse, ostracism and bullying all contributed to the mix. From his first school bus ride to kindergarten through the final days of homeschooling, the details of his upbringing are tragic.

Garry and his wife Melissa now lead Love and Truth Network, a ministry that is very much committed to equipping churches on all matters of sexual brokenness. Their website offers dozens of helpful podcasts and many resources. They counsel, train, and equip.

As the pages turn, this revealing account of his deep dive into the gay culture makes plain how churches have so fumbled and failed on issues of sexual brokenness. But a sequel is in the works to equip churches to be anchored in truth and abounding with love and grace.