Oiling the Squeaky Wheel

How to face the Trans rage

In the past week, I’ve had two subscribers ask how to deal with the Trans Rage. One is seeking peace in the home. The other is concerned for a college campus. For insight, let’s consider my favorite leadership text: A Failure of Nerve: Leadership in the Age of the Quick Fix by Edwin Friedman.

Conflict and rage are a part of life in this broken world. Whether living in your own house or the White House, there is one principle which governs the dynamics of any system. As we sometimes say, “The squeaky wheel gets the oil (or grease).” Whether it is the screaming child, the angry parishioner, the petulant employee, or the in-your-face faction of a political party, control usually goes the direction of those who persistently protest.

This is the greatest test of leadership. It doesn’t matter who has the position of authority, the tail wags the dog unless the leader is wise and firm.

The Trans Craze among adolescent girls has some unique dynamics. And so what follows needs to be carefully and discerningly applied, and saturated with prayer. But consider the following principles.

Info and Reason Fall Short

Our default mode is information. If only these people knew the data or science behind the issue, surely they would go along. Rarely if ever does reason persuade a controlling person or party.

I remember well a church council meeting where I presented a new program. Heads were nodding, faces were smiling, and all comments were positive. Reason and information seemed to be winning the day . . . until Alice the matriarch let out a deep sigh, blowing everyone’s enthusiasm out the window. One sigh by the controlling person rendered my proposal lifeless.

So also with the Trans Craze. It doesn’t matter that science and experience contradict this thinking. Facts and data just don’t cut it with the storming teen or the angry mob.

Previous posts have given details about this maddening phenomenon among girls. It exploded about the time that cell phones became glued to the hands of teens. Not only did rates of “dysphoria” skyrocket, but cutting, bullying, teen suicide, and addiction all increased. Cultural shifts have compounded the mess, making formidable forces against common sense.

Friedman asserts that information doesn’t change the emotional system. In the long run, leadership energy and presence does. But how that energy and presence apply in the current milieu requires much wisdom.

Reactive Rebuttal Increases Rage

We need to respond, not react. Yep. We all know this when we are calmly reading a blog post. But when a person is screaming, we want to scream back.

Friedman makes plain that answering rage with rage leads only to defeat. This calls upon leaders to self-differentiate—to be able to step back and separate from the nonsense. And throughout Failure of Nerve, Friedman lays out the process and tools:

·      Take a stand and stick with it.

·      Be willing to stand alone.

·      Self-regulate your emotions. If you “lose it,” you will lose.

·      Be clear on values and goals, and remain focused on them.

·      Persist in the face of resistance.

·      Learn to expect crises.

·      Don’t expect apologies and do expect grudges.

·      Carefully use humor when appropriate.

The most memorable line in the book for me was this: Heated conflict and contention provide the stage for giving your “I have a dream” speech. In this way we point to the larger vision and goal.

From my experience in church work, I know to expect to give that speech many times before the system begins to shift toward our leadership.

A Unique Challenge

Again, these principles from Friedman need to be applied very carefully in the present conflict because a sudden shift in worldview and perspective has significantly altered the dynamics.

Increasingly, schools sympathize and enable young girls in their trans assumptions. Counselors have been told to abandon the “wait and see” approach utilized by gender specialists for decades. Parents are warned that if they don’t affirm their distraught teens, they can expect suicide. Far from dealing with a matriarch in a church council meeting, we are bucking against a powerful paradigm shift in education, therapy, and medicine.

As mentioned in previous posts, the teacher, professor, or health care worker who dares speak out, gets doxed and canceled into oblivion.

As for the parents whose daughter is screaming for puberty blockers and “top surgery”, they find themselves in a crushing vice. They know that their girl is caught in a craze and will face severe health consequences for taking these measures. But they are being warned by professionals to give in or risk losing their child to suicide.

Obviously, applying these principles takes a lot of wisdom in any context when deciding which hill to die on.

Applying Oil

Throughout the scriptures, oil has been symbolic of the Holy Spirit. Exodus 30 provides specific instructions for preparing the special oil used to consecrate priests, prophets, and kings. This symbolized that these people were set apart for sacred purposes, and we know that prior to Pentecost, it was their particular privilege to receive the anointing and fullness of the Spirit.

How we need the Holy Spirit in this deafening season of squeaky wheels!

May his power make us quick to listen, slow to speak, and guarded in our anger. May he give us an extra measure of his divine love so that those who scream and threaten can see the love of God in the midst of sharp disagreement. Self-control is an aspect of the fruit of the Spirit very much needed in every arena of conflict.

The Spirit enables us to have the serenity to accept the unchangeable, the courage to stand firm, and the wisdom to know where to draw the line in the sand.

Prayer Warfare

In a recent Zoom conference with paid subscribers, a missionary from Spain gave an international perspective on what is happening in our world. I wish I could quote him, but here is an approximate paraphrase:

Paul maintains that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities and powers in the heavenly realms. In the current struggle, however, these heavenly powers have gained much control over the worldly power structures, forcing a demonic sexual ideology upon many western cultures.

And so, the government, educational systems, military, and large portions of the medical community are ignoring sound reason and science to force these immoral practices upon us.

Next week’s post will go into more detail about the paid subscriber conversation and the demonic element at work in the rapidly changing sexual mores, but the simple word in all of this is PRAY.

Whether the conflict is in your house or the White House, there are basic principles at play. But our most essential weapon can be found in concerted prayer.