While the world absorbs the shock of the attacks in Israel, thought I’d offer an article with a bit of guidance for parents. These come directly from Dr. Miriam Grossman’s Lost in Trans Nation: A Child Psychiatrist’s Guide Out of the Madness.
For the sake of identifying what is going on with today’s youth, she makes a list of what she calls the Articles of Faith for Transgender Ideology. Framing the beliefs this way emphasizes that they are held religiously and blindly by adherents.
ARTICLES OF FAITH
Behold GENDER IDENTITY; it liberated you from oppression, from the harsh constraints of biology.
GENDER IDENTITY is sacred; thou shall not question it; thou shall not turn away from it to hard science, for GENDER IDENTITY is jealous and cannot tolerate the scientific method.
Remember GENDER IDENTITY, to keep it holy. Behold, it is both fixed and fluid; healthy and needing drugs and surgeries; do not admit the contradictions.
Thou shall consider “male” and “female” arbitrary assignments; thou shall deny their establishment at conception.
Thou shall affirm all gender identities with all your heart and all your soul, so that you will be an ally and keep your livelihood.
Do not misgender.
Do not deadname.
Thou shall not explore anxiety, ADHD, trauma, or autism; thou shall always invoke the minority stress model.
Thou shall honor the self-diagnosis and judgment of minors and young adults. Thou shall not recognize their emotional and cognitive immaturity.
Gatekeeping is an abomination. Thou shall therefore scorn psychotherapy, and place your trust in breast binding, penis-and-testicle-tucking, pills, patches, syringes, scalpels, implants, and prosthetics. (p. Xxxx)
Upon entering the field of psychiatry, she rarely encountered clients dealing with gender dysphoria. Now, because she has not bought into gender affirming care, distraught parents bring their kids from all over the country. The stories she’s heard over the years reveal a pattern—something she calls “the lasagna surprise.”
Following the lead of teachers, peers, and online influencers, students adopt new identities at school and are showered with affirmation. But, having been warned by the school to keep their identities from their parents, they wait to announce their decision until much later, often at the dinner table. Whether there is lasagna or not, they begin their unveiling with the words, “I have something to tell you.”
Having been caught off guard, parents naturally try to talk sense into them. But the kids have their minds made up. They simply want you to allow puberty blockers or some other invasive procedure. All efforts to persuade them are viewed as oppressive.
Most of us would do anything to protect our kids. Some have taken drastic measures—what Grossman calls “nuclear options”. Home schooling, moving out of state, or even sending their daughter or son to a special camp for six months to deprogram them.
At the suggestion of a client, she developed a survey for parents who have experienced this crisis, seeking for their hindsight wisdom. The common theme has been to be proactive. Here are their suggestions:
Discuss gender with your child early.
Get out of public schools.
Get your child off the internet.
Know who your child’s talking to—at school, online, everywhere.
No social media, smart phones, GSA meetings, gender clinics.
Love without affirming. No names, pronouns, binders.
Validate feelings, not beliefs.
Be vigilant.
Don’t think it’s not happening in your area, because it is. (p. 223)
Now some of you are thinking, Wait! These look like nuclear options! Get kids out of public schools? No social media or smart phones? To be sure, there is no “one size fits all” approach. You will have to weigh your own options.
There are several appendices in Lost in Trans Nation which address some of the concerns you may have. If home schooling is not a possibility, she provides a chapter on how to communicate with your local school and find out exactly what is being taught. So too with the tech exodus. There are tips on internet accountability and security.
The question most of us continue to ask ourselves is, “How in the world did this insanity become a trend? Soon I’ll share some thoughts in a future post.
If you would like to take part in a Zoom seminar on this topic, I’ll be giving a presentation the 30th of this month. Simply email me at ongley01@icloud.com to RSVP. It is free for paid subscribers and a mere $20 for all others. (Note taking guide included.)