Pure Hearted: Banding Together for Sexual Wholeness seems to be gaining some traction. I know of several who not only have found victory from porn, but are leading or planning to lead their own group. Praise God!
But as bands journey together toward freedom, one common bedeviling dynamic is their dang cell phones! Why can’t they just leave them alone?! And if they do kick the porn, will they simply be trading in one addiction for another, say getting hooked on social media?
OK, can we be honest? Why can’t any of us leave these dang things alone? It seems the younger the person, the more likely they are to walk through life with phones glued to their palms. Regardless of our age, most of us find electronic devices so very, very addictive.
So, Tsunami Surfers, if we are going to help the masses of tsunami victims, can we each lead by example? This is a serious problem. I have urged a few counselees to get burner phones or to buy the Light Phone which has no Wi-Fi. But am I willing to live with a “dumb” phone?
This week I went to my carrier: Xfinity Mobile. Because we have Comcast for cable, we received a great deal on our family plan. So I asked to see their burners. Hm. They don’t have any. Nor do they provide service for the Light Phone, which is the minimalist smartphone with no wireless access. Turns out they cover only the phones they sell. Rats!
I guess I am stuck with my iPhone SE for now.
So I try to check emails only four times a day and control my urges to chase rabbits down those very alluring holes. I’m improving, but not quite there yet.
But seriously, cell phones are a source of all kinds of trouble. Do you realize what it does to little kids?
Serving at a marriage retreat a few weeks ago, I heard one teacher say that when a child looks for attention from a parent, they long for eye to eye connection—attunement. This is important for their development. But if the caregiver is preoccupied, the result can be a sense of shame, as in, “There must be something wrong with me.”
Does shame fuel sexual addiction? You betcha. So I cringe each time I see moms with faces gazing at their devices while out walking their kids. Sigh!
And if you’ve read Tsunami Surfing for very long, you’ve heard already how the risk-reward dynamic of repetitive video games can wire children’s brains toward addiction. While demons did not design smartphones, dark forces certainly capitalize on them.
Recently I read in Rod Dreher’s blog of an Anglican bishop from Africa who thanked him for his book The Benedict Option. Because the book warns of a “soft totalitarianism” which will oppress Christians on gender and sexuality issues, Dreher questioned the bishop why Africa would need such a book. Surely the African church is not facing the same kind of pressure as those of us in the West.
The bishop simply said, “Our youth have smartphones.”
Social media influencers are capturing the hearts and minds of people around the world. Even the younger generations of Africans are buying into the transgender ideology along with the rage-filled tactics so common here in the States.
This year at our community Pentecost Sunday service, I preached on Ephesians 5:15-20. There Paul warns the young church as follows:
Be careful, then, how you live, not as unwise people but as wise, 16 making the most of the time, because the days are evil. 17 So do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. 18 Do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit . . . (NRSV)
The point often made is that getting drunk is noted not so much because drunkenness was an issue. It’s simply a way of illustrating the importance of coming under the influence and control of the Spirit—a different kind of drunkenness. And please note that we today are called to be just as wise, knowing the will of God, and walking in the Spirit because these days are, in fact, evil!
Do our cell phones influence and control us more than the Spirit of God?
The words of Jesus also come to mind:
29 If your right eye causes you to sin, tear it out and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better for you to lose one of your members than for your whole body to go into hell. (Matt. 5:29, 30 NRSVue)
Does radical obedience to Jesus call some of us to discard our devices? Ouch! And how does one even function without one these days? How many would take time to even read this blog without a smartphone?
In his book 12 Ways Your Phone is Changing You, author Tony Reinke titles his chapters as follows:
· We Are Addicted to Distraction
· We Ignore Our Flesh and Blood
· We Crave Immediate Approval
· We Lose Our Literacy
· We Feed on the Produced
· We Become Like What We “Like”
· We Get Lonely
· We Get Comfortable in Secret Vices
· We Lose Meaning
· We Fear Missing Out
· We Become Harsh to One Another
· We Lose Our Place in Time
Note that many of these chapter titles relate very clearly to the Tsunami.
While it would certainly encourage porn addicts to see some of us become “digital monks,” Reinke reaches the conclusion that most of us will not be able to live without smartphones for a variety of practical reasons. However, we must recognize their addictive pull and deal vigorously with them.
Yawns are contagious, aren’t they? One person sucks air through their gaping mouth and soon others in the room are trying to suppress the same urge.
Reinke states that checking our smartphones is the new “yawn.” As soon as you do, everyone else gets the urge to glance downward.
Tsunami surfers! Instead of triggering others by continually raising our phones, let’s become noted for how unaddicted we are. God calls us to freedom. Gird yourselves with the strength of God, be filled with the Spirit, and keep the dang thing facedown on the table.
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