In prepping for this weekend’s Apex Youth Conference, I’ve come up with an approach which I hope will gain traction with the teen crowd on issues of identity. The messages that are competing for their attention and devotion are formidable.
I’ve continued to read Abigail Shrier’s Irreversible Damage: The Transgender Craze Seducing Our Daughters. Incredible stuff. As noted in last week’s post, the internet has become their go-to source for guidance if teens have questions about what is stirring inside of them. Before the advent of smartphones, genuine gender dysphoria was found almost entirely among young boys—only 1 in every 10,000. The confusion eventually evaporated by adulthood for 70% of them. But since 2010, teen girls who never evidenced any dysphoria in childhood are jumping on board.
Shrier has examined the scientific research, talked with four dozen families, and interviewed several hundred transitioners, trying to grasp why teen girls are so recently joining the parade of those receiving testosterone treatments and having “top surgery”. What prompts them to look online for options? Often it is simply anxiety fueled by increased isolation and a longing for acceptance.
When they ask Google for direction, there are a host of sites and podcasts of trans gurus offering advice. As Shrier viewed the videos and spoke personally with the most popular of the “coaches”, she uncovered the dominant mantras which they all seem to chant. At the top of the list? “If you think you might be trans, you are.”
This perhaps makes more sense when you look at the Genderbread Person—a chart with self-discovery tools which has gained a lot of attention:
You’ll notice that this view of being human separates what you think from your attractions and your given anatomy. This presents a confused teen who doesn’t fit in with some options:
· Apart from what anatomy tells them, do they think their gender aligns more with woman-ness or man-ness?
· Attraction is a separate matter. A girl’s gender identity may be man-ness, but she could still be attracted to men.
· Anatomy? Whatever was assigned at birth is not supposed to define them. Changes can be made to bodies, more easily than to hearts and minds.
· As for expression, this is how one dresses, wears their hair, carries themselves, and interact all based upon how they define themselves.
OK, for old people like me, this may seem like nonsense. Who could believe such a thing? But take a look around, folks. Those under 30 are owning this.
Paid subscribers received a previous post where I stated that this view of humanity did not happen overnight. If you read Rod Dreher’s The Benedict Option or Carl Trueman’s The Rise and Triumph of the Modern Self, you will find that the ground began shifting underneath us hundreds of years ago. It is a dramatic change of worldview which began to accelerate with the Sexual Revolution of the 60’s.
So how do we speak to this issue with our teens, especially since at the foundation of it all is cosmology. As Dreher quips, “If the real challenge of the Sexual Revolution is cosmological, then a church that tries to meet it with middle-class moralism is bringing knives to a gunfight.”
So what weaponry do I wield at the youth conference? Well, in addition to emotional Kevlar, I’ll be packing compassion, sincerity, humor, and an appeal to their sense of self as reflected in the Creation story. Yeah, there might be other items that could help, but, hey, I only have 25 minutes with some Q & A to follow.
As for the last piece of the arsenal, it seems to me that they are already looking inward at what they think and feel. So I want them reflect on how the clues we find in the Creation story tie in with what they have already been experiencing. Then I will make the case for viewing themselves as a unified whole.
Chapter Two of Into the Light contains a lot of what I will share. For example, when we greet people, depending on the culture and context, we shake hands, hug, maybe kiss a check or pat the back. But one thing we don’t do is place our hand between a friend’s legs. Nope. The reason for that is the first principle that I want to instill within them:
Our genitals are the closest outward connection to the deepest part of our being.
This is by God’s design. We are wired differently than any other mammals. We alone mate in private because sex is the sharing of the most personal part of ourselves.
This is why God chose circumcision as the sign of the Covenant. The scar could have gone anywhere. But God chose the closest outward connection to the deepest part of Abram’s being, foreshadowing the circumcision of the heart under the New Covenant.
And so the scriptures provide a very powerful link between anatomy and our inner being. And the teens will hopefully connect those very dots.
Another key phrase in Genesis 2 is that Adam and Eve became “one flesh”. This describes the process of bonding. Today we know that the emotional bonds we form are the result of oxytocin. This chemical draws our hearts toward a person when they remember our name, shake our hand or give us a hug. But it spikes when we climax sexually—all by God’s design. He saw it was not good for Adam to be alone, and so provided an intimate way to bond with another.
Deeply within, tweens, teens, and even us old guys all long to be bonded to people, especially to one that we are in covenant with.
Related to bonding, the cocktail of chemicals emitted when we are falling head over heels in love are also by God’s design. Those raging feelings which follow as we have a crush on someone are meant to draw us and bond us with one person. They last about two years—conceivably enough time for us to tie the knot.
And so, will this “sell” on Saturday? Ultimately, apart from the convincing work of the Holy Spirit, 45 minutes is not enough time to make more than a dent. What is desperately needed for our youth is compelling discipleship. Our culture no longer holds common Christian assumptions about God, humankind, and the spiritual realm, much less biblical sexuality. It’s a lot more pagan than many of us would like to think.
The challenge before me this Saturday is the challenge before all of us. Youth today can smell hypocrites before they get out of their pews. (Pun intended) May the fragrance of Christ meet them through our words and examples.
Those who have a paid subscription are welcome to leave comments. I’d love your input.
Don’t wish me luck. Simply pray.
I liked the explanation of identity, expression, sex, and attraction. That was very helpful in understanding the components that go into what people are experiencing. I agree that the under 30 crowd accepts all of these variations as all equally viable. I am still learning about what kids are consuming on social media. I've been lucky enough to have kids who share some of what they encounter there and we can have meaningful dialog. Kids are looking for some clarity in this sea of confusing thoughts and feelings. I'm sure it can be hard to figure everything out. One thing that attracts kids to the LGBTQ community may be that it appears to be very inclusive and sometimes can feel much more inclusive than church does. Belonging is the core longing that I think may be being expressed in the desire to seek out a community of like-minded people. I'm sure that your compassion and humor will go a long way toward reaching the kids and letting them know that there are people in the church who are willing to walk with them through this confusing time.