UMC Celebrations & Sorrows

Some personal thoughts

This has been a very difficult article to write, probably because I am still processing and grieving deeply within. What follows are not so much surfing perspectives as personal reflections. It regards The United Methodist Church and their decision this week to officially approve the ordination of practicing LGBTQ members and the normalization of same-sex marriage. In doing this, they are straying from clear teachings of scripture and over 2000 years of Christian tradition.

My grandparents, parents, siblings and I were raised in small churches in a small denomination: The Evangelical United Brethren. I found Christ at the same church camp that my mom and aunts had attended when they were kids many years ago. Then in 1968, the EUB Church merged with The Methodist Church to become The United Methodist Church. I was eleven. Our local pastor was irate. It felt as though we were being swallowed and digested.

According to my adolescent memory, our pastor ranted against the United Methodist hierarchy any chance he got. So when I felt called to enter ministry as a college student, I gladly chose a different denomination where everyone thought alike on the heated issues of abortion and homosexuality.

After eight years in ministry, God clearly led me back to the United Methodist fold. He didn’t have to call a large fish to spew me up on the shores, but I resisted his leading about as long as I could stand it.

Once back, I found God very much at work in and through the behemoth connection of UM churches. Kids were still finding Christ at church camps. Christ-centered friendships were easily formed. And my preaching, teaching, and input were very much welcomed. Over the next 27 years, I was enormously blessed to serve four different parishes. I am very thankful to have retired as a United Methodist.

Most of those years, I was neck deep in debate and dialogue over LGBT matters, urging traditionalists to be more compassionate and progressives to be more biblical. I initiated conversations with colleagues—sort of a “take a liberal to lunch” approach. Also did a short stint on a “dialogue team” until I was able to see behind the curtain the true intentions of the organizers. And, of course, I did a lot of writing.

Early on, I felt as though I would remain United Methodist no matter how the official church position might change. Athanasius, for example, never ran off to start a new church, but remained in the debates till the day he died. “Tenacious Athanasius” was my model.

Over the years, however, I’ve seen the disadvantages of being part of a body that sends an uncertain signal about sexual practices. It certainly sounds virtuous to say that we can “agree to disagree” on such matters. But issues of sexuality are far more central to Christian faith than other debatable matters, like styles of worship, matters of church governance, etc.

One of my counselees battling same-sex attraction was thoroughly confused after talking with our bishop about his struggles. Following that conversation, he eventually left his wife and caused a world of hurt to those he loved in order to embrace his “true self.” He later returned to his wife and to me as a counselor, deeply scarred. But from then on, he was convinced of the traditional view of scripture despite the pull of temptation.

Our youth readily come to mind. With the internet fodder and school curriculum all promoting the rainbow cause, it does them no good to see church leadership undecided. As they are encouraged to follow their hearts more than to follow the scriptures, the results will continue to be catastrophic.

As the denominational drama unfolded in the last four years, I supported efforts to form a new denomination called the Global Methodist Church. In fact, God opened a door for me to help write the theology of sexuality for the new movement. Then in the last year of active ministry, I helped our congregation disaffiliate from the UMC and join the GMC.

Nearly one fourth of the UM churches in the US disaffiliated, making this week’s legislative efforts of progressives far easier. Ordination of LGBTQ+ clergy will move forward unhindered. Pastors and local churches who choose to have same-sex weddings are now permitted. Many more significant changes will ensue.

Traditionalists will be allowed to continue to follow their convictions. But the LGBTQ+ caucus called Reconciling Ministries Network views their work as just beginning. They have pledged to continue to pressure all churches until every congregation celebrates same-sex weddings and the transitioning of the gender dysphoric.

When I returned to the UMC, I had to take a few correspondence courses on UMC history and polity. Required reading included The History of the Evangelical United Brethren, the denomination of my childhood. In the final chapter, it described the decision of the EUB leadership to unite with The Methodist Church, a decision confirmed by about three fourths of the churches across the country. Opposing pastors and churches like my own were in the minority.

The book described the resistance of churches in the Pacific Northwest. They petitioned the General Conference to be able withdraw from the denomination. Their petition was denied. They were forced to remain.

When I read those words 25 years ago, I started to weep. Somehow the pain of my childhood which had been fueled by my bitter pastor came flooding forth like a lanced blister. I had carried that pain for decades without realizing it.

In this decades long battle, there are no winners. Hearts will be broken as churches continue to close or split apart. And certainly broken hearts abound already among those of a progressive persuasion who have seen their gay and lesbian children abandon the faith because of the rules now being overturned.

Despite the celebrations this week among the United Methodists gathered this week in South Carolina, many sorrows will continue. Lord Jesus, have mercy on us all.